Nincompooptionary

nin·com·poop, noun - a fool or simpleton.
[Origin: 1670–80; orig. uncert.]

nincompoop. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1).

Ni·n·com·poop, noun - an Eco-Friendly, Weed-Resistant, Wood-Free Organic Mulch for one's gardens.
Ni - Nitrogen; in - in; comp - compost-ing; poop - poop!
[Origin: 2007; orig. not telling.]

—Related forms
Nin·com·poop, verb - to spread Eco-Friendly, Weed-Resistant, Wood-Free Organic Mulch on one’s garden.

Nin·com·poop·ing, verb - the process of distributing Eco-Friendly, Weed-Resistant,
Wood-Free Organic Mulch on one’s garden.

Nin·com·poop·ish, adjective - how one’s garden looks when an
Eco-Friendly, Weed-Resistant, Wood-Free Organic Mulch is spread on his/her garden.

Nin·com·poop·ed, adjective - how one feels after spreading
an Eco-Friendly, Weed-Resistant, Wood-Free Organic Mulch on his/her garden.

nincompoop. (n.d.). Nincompoop.info Unabridged (v 1.1).